Amazing host talks a load of twakkie

Published Dec 28, 2006

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After the fanfare of the festive season, January is traditionally a bleak month for most, what with the holidays having ended and the thought of all the money spent hanging heavy on your mind.

But before all post-vacation blues sets in, good news we bring:

The second season of The Most Amazing Show airs on January 10. Yes, the "mullet, moustachioed 1980s time-warped eccentric masters of comedy" are back and (according to them) better than ever!

They've changed a few things, including slashing the show from 60 minutes to 30, but the trailer park twosome promise to keep providing their trademark dose of working- class, wacky - and often downright dirty - humour.

Since Corné (Louw Venter) was off meditating in the Malutis with his Cornite followers, Tonight chatted to Twakkie (Rob van Vuuren) to get the lowdown on what we can expect from the new series.

And so my guys, ladyguys and guyladies, here's what he had to say:

LDM: When your first season came to a close, sentiment on the street was that the storyline was getting stale. This being the case, what can you tell viewers about your second season that will make them want to tune in?

T: Well lady, I don't know anything about storylines or what what. All I can say is that I never wanted to be on bladdy TV anyways, 'cos besides of which like Corné always says, I am just his sideshit. But I can tell you one thing for sure: Corné is pretty flippen amped about the whole affair. I mean, he gets to swap skirts with Jess from the Dirty Skirts, Evita Bezuidenhout cooks him a delicious meal, he finally finds out what happened to Mamma Marna. Even Kurt Darren pops in to save the day.

LDM: You invited Gareth Cliff onto the show once, but during one of his recent radio slots he said he refused because he didn't want to get into a hot tub with you on national TV. Is this one of the reasons you've decided to do away with the hot tub this time around - since a number of celebrities wouldn't play along?

T: Lady, the fact that you even listen to that ladyboy's kak radio show is embarrassing enough. I don't think we need to be imagining what he looks like in a Speedo as well. And truth be told, sweet dolphin, the hot tub sprang a leak and despite all my heroic efforts to fix it (pritt, putty, bubblegum, chicken skins, my finger), the bladdy thing just wouldn't stay fixed.

LDM: It's a new year and a new show. Can we expect a change of image for Corné and Twakkie?

T: We got new sunglasses, if that is what you mean.

LDM: So what amazing words of wisdom will we be hearing from The Love Captain second time around?

T: I don't know about you lady and I don't know if I'm just in a kak mood today, but sometimes it all just seems like it's all just more of the same bullshit to me. But hey, it definitely seems to work on the ladies.

LDM: What's up with this on-going feud between you and Arno Carstens? Isn't it time the two of you just kissed and made up?

T: Dear, dear misguided lady, do you have any idea what kind of diseases you could catch just kissing that freak? And besides, even if Sun Tzu said: "Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting," Twakkie said: "Yes, sure fine, unless of course your enemy is Arno Carstens."

LDM: You started out in theatre, but your stage show at the Baxter Theatre in the Mother City received less than rave reviews, because critics felt you were trying too hard. How much do you think is too much?

T: I think taking a shower to avoid getting Aids is a little much, but hey, that seems to be the times we are living in, so I say turn on the fan because the poef is about to fly.

LDM: How do you think this negative reception to your stage show will impact on the upcoming television version?

T: Allow me in defense to say that the show the critics saw was totally kak. Believe it because it's true. It was kakker than a kak sandwich without bread, but that's because it was for the critics. It was much better when we did it for the humans.

LDM: So what else have Corné and Twakkie been up to since we last saw you?

T: Well I spent about two weeks in hospital after my exploding ass of fire stunt backfired, and Corné's been spending a lot of time with his stupid followers.

In fact, he'd probably still be with them if it wasn't for that mysterious fire. Since then we've also been making sure we're going to make the craziest, funniest show on TV. See you there!

- The Most Amazing Show, Thursday January 11, 10pm, SABC 2.

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