London - Looking after a new baby is notoriously hard on mothers. Now psychologists have warned it can be just as much of a strain for men.
They say money worries and a lack of quality time with their child hit first-time fathers hard – with many suffering from a form of post-natal depression.
Some compare themselves unfavourably with “perfect hands-on dads” such as Brad Pitt and David Beckham.
The researchers from Oxford University warn that fathers can be sidelined after the birth, depriving them of opportunities to bond with their baby.
It doesn’t help that some mothers are guilty of “maternal gatekeeping” by taking over all caring responsibilities and subconsciously limiting the father’s access to a baby.
Many men are expected to keep working to bring money in, rather than being given a chance to share the feeding and nappy-changing.
Research has already shown that up to 10 percent of fathers suffer from a type of post-natal depression.
But the study shows that they receive little support from health professionals.
One man who took part suffered from “moderate to severe” depression and had to be signed off work.
Dr Anna Machin, from Oxford University’s department of experimental psychology, interviewed fathers over an eight-month period from just before the birth of their babies.
While all were optimistic in the first interview, more than a third exhibited symptoms of depression in the six months after the birth – much higher that the one in ten suggested by previous research.
Dr Machin said: “There is increasing evidence that fathers experience symptoms of post-natal depression. It’s definitely a real phenomenon.
“With fathers who want to be involved with their children, there is a tension between their need to provide and the wish to be at home. Having a baby can also put a strain on marital relationships, especially if the couple are not working as a team.
“And women can sometimes be guilty of maternal gatekeeping, whereby they see themselves as the primary carer. They do not empower the father to take control of caring for the baby.”
She also said fathers take longer to bond with their children because they do not have the “biochemical head-start” of pregnancy and breast feeding.
If they take a back seat in looking after the baby, this can delay the bonding process further – causing them to feel disappointed and rejected.
While some took additional paternity leave, most found it was unaffordable to stop working for much longer than the statutory two weeks.
Dr Machin added: “The dads in this study, whatever their intentions about sharing roles with their partners, found they were ending up in quite traditional structures where mother raised the child and father worked to support them.
“Many commented that the attitude of wider society relegated them to the role of supporter rather than parent. They can feel guilt and disappointment when the reality of their situation sinks in and they are still the secondary carer.”
Of the 15 fathers involved in the study, all of whom had good jobs and were in stable relationships, five showed signs of mild to moderate depression two weeks after birth and one had symptoms of moderately severe depression at six months.
Dr Machin said many of the men she interviewed had felt “unsupported” by health workers, who were still focused on “mom and baby”. Some said they had even been made to feel unwelcome by health visitors, who acted as if they were not supposed to be there.
She said: “The needs of fathers are not being met. In some cases this has severe adverse effects on dads’ wellbeing.”
Daily Mail