Durban - Despite having a choice of prospective brides in Durban, Ganas Govender only had eyes for Daphne.
In 1965, Govender, formerly of Motala Farm, now Motala Heights in Pinetown, met Daphne, of Paulpietersburg, when her elder sister married his cousin. They later courted for five years and married on November 22, 1970.
The couple, both 72, of Dundee, celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with a weekend getaway with their great-grandchildren at the Natal Spa.
Govender works as a siding manager for Buffalo Coal, a mining company, for the past 17 years. He has to ensure that the correct coal that is required by a customer is placed on the rail trucks and transported. Govender said he enjoyed his job and had no intention of retiring any time soon. Daphne is a housewife.
The couple have a daughter, Ranjani Naidoo, two sons, Dayalan and Gonaseelan, who have both passed away, six grandchildren and four great-grandchildren.
Govender said when he saw Daphne, it was love at first sight.
"And it is still the same until today. Every time she walks into a room, I get those feelings like when I first saw her. I could have found any girl here in Durban and got married, but I loved her and knew that I wanted to marry her."
Daphne said Govender was handsome and when they started courting, she often waited for him to visit her town or she travelled with her family to Durban to see him.
Govender said they met in December 1965.
“My cousin and her elder sister were married in April 1965, and they were going to visit Daphne's parents in Paulpietersburg. I wanted to go with them for a holiday. Paulpietersburg was a small town. There was not much to do. But while there, Daphne and I had become close. She worked in a fish and chips shop and every day I walked her to work.
“After about two weeks, it was time to return to Durban. We were both sad but we decided to write to each other.”
Govender, who worked as an assembler at a leather factory shop at the time, called her when he was paid his wage on Fridays.
“We also visited each other when we could. This continued for five years."
He said in the early 1970s, he took his family to her home.
“She also spoke to her family about our intentions to get married and everyone was happy. We set the wedding date for that same year.”
They married in a traditional Hindu ceremony at the Moody Hall in Pinetown among 500 guests. He wore a cream-coloured suit and Daphne, a red and gold sari. The newly-weds then moved into his parent's home in Motala Farm.
“We didn't have much. But a short while after, we rented a small room in the same area and moved in with just a primer stove and a few dishes. Even with barely anything, my wife took pride in our home. She used to cook the best meals. Even today, from cabbage and dhall to chops chutney and samoosas, my wife can cook.”
Govender said in 1974, while still working at the leather shoe factory, Daphne's father had arranged a job for him as a driver at a mining company in Coronation in Vryheid.
“Our eldest son was two and Daphne was pregnant with our daughter. With just R110 in my bank account, we moved to Dundee and lived with her uncle, while I sorted out my work permit. This was necessary at the time of the old government. But three months had passed and I was unable to get the permit.”
He later got a job as a merchandiser for Bakers Biscuits.
“This meant that I had to travel around the province. During that time, Daphne knew I was working hard to build a better life for our family. My heart and soul were invested in the betterment of our children's lives.”
Daphne said that like every relationship and marriage, they went through both good and bad times.
"But we made amends before we went to bed.“
Said Govender: “Even if she was mad at me, she ensured that I ate and the next day everything returned to normal. This is one of the reasons we have maintained a relationship this long. We chose each other through good and bad times and we love each other.
“We always tell our grandchildren not to get married for fun. It's not a game. I also told my grandsons that if they take another man’s daughter from his home, they must take care of them like their fathers did. One day, my grandsons could have daughters and they would expect their future sons-in-law to treat their girls as they would. It is also important to maintain face-to-face communication in relationships. Enjoy a cup of tea together and talk to each other."
Daphne added: "Love each other like it is the first time you fell in love. And don't quit so easily when the times get tough. That may be just a test. If you can get through it, you can get through anything together."
Govender said they enjoyed watching sport and horse racing and Daphne preferred Indian television serials and cooking.
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